My daughter had finals the other day. It was her first time taking finals in the course. It did not goes well as she would have liked more as we would have liked. There came a point when she basically gave up. I had a choice of whether to continue to push for two pullbacks. I may pushed a little bit too long. However, I think I pulled back at the right time.
There come points in our lives when we want the best for another person but we can’t make that best haPpen. It requires something of the other person. Sometimes the best thing to do is to pull back. That was a beautiful thing to walk through with my daughter. The pain is often one of the best teachers.
She had a science final or should I say a final in her science course and I won’t go more into it because I don’t want to point fingers at any time. However she came out from that final did not go the way she expected the questions were not as she was anticipated that she did not do nearly as well. She felt dejected and was concerned that how well she did would reflect poorly on her tutor. She began to shut down. That was the point at which I pushed a bit. I saw shut down even more.
I realized that my daughter would either be pushed away from me if I push too hard or she would come to realize how much I love her no matter what her grade. It was at that painful juncture that I said how much I loved her and was proud of her. It was then her choice of whether to study for the remaining finals or not. There was some studying that happened but for the most part she saw little hope in effort.
She finished your finals and got her grades. Some were better-than-expected some were worse than expected. Some were as expected. This was a difficult semester for my daughter. One thing that I learned in support of her is to show love constantly and to give guidance when necessary. To let her know that I am always in her corner.
I also learned much about myself in this process. I learned that my worth does not come from a reflection about what my daughter or son or wife does. My worth comes from what Jesus Christ did in my place. And my love for others comes from that same price. So their abilities or inabilities have nothing to do with my worth. That’s great news and it allows me to love unconditionally. It’s a funny thing that unconditional love often has conditions. At least that’s the way we kind of practice it. Instead I am learning what unconditional love is really like and it’s better than my conditional unconventionalism.
May you find inspiration in my story of helping my daughter and myself through time of struggle and finding God’s grace in the midst of it. Blessings be with you.